Sunday, November 20, 2011
The nature of things
Nature isn't great. Our Lord has given amazing things to share this world with. On Friday it was the last day of turkey hunting season (not really but hard to explain.) Anyway I had to work at the funeral home (bury the dead) and decided to spend the last couple of hours of turkey season hunting these amazing birds and go to camp. Well on my drive to camp, it is deep in the woods on dirt roads, I came upon these fine animals.
First was the deer. He was found chewing on some old apples off an old tree. Not a legal deer for this deer season but nice to see. Oh yeah, and then I found the turkeys. I had seen this flock at about the same place a couple of times. I have to admit I reached for the camera instead of the .22. It just didn't seem right to kill one of them just an hour or two before the season was over. Besides I have killed turkeys before I was trying to see if I could get any on film.
There you go an amazing day in the woods hunting. Should only carry my camera would be less weight.
Tuesday, October 18, 2011
Monday, October 17, 2011
Catholic Life? Msgr. Beibel
"Every Sunday, as I read the paper, I find it discouraging as a pastor to read the wedding page and see young men and women from traditional Catholic families being married at the beach, or at a hotel or resort, in non-Catholic church. I read obituaries of Catholics burying their departed without a prayer or without a Mass of Christian Burial. What is happening? Have we become THAT secularized that our most significant moments in life do not need the Lord? "
If you know me than you know that I work part time for a funeral home. It is very frustrating to see the "catholics" who do not know when to sit, stand, or kneel at Mass let alone know the responses. I pray for their souls and that the Holy Spirit will lead them back to their faith and their God.
Please read the rest of the article. God Bless you.
Friday, October 14, 2011
Jesus words to St. Faustina, Divine Mercy
Studying on Divine Mercy I thought I would read the words of Jesus to St. Faustina. Thought I would put them here for you to read also.
JESUS CHRIST’S WORDS TO ST. FAUSTINA
St. Faustina wrote the words of Our Lord Jesus Christ in her diary “Divine Mercy in My Soul” as required by her superiors and her Chaplain. Here are some teachings He gave to ponder on.
Mercy: God’s Greatest Attribute
In Vinius, 1934, Faustina was told, “Proclaim that Mercy is the greatest attribute of God. All the works of My hands are crowned with Mercy.” (#301)
Priests who proclaim My Mercy will have wondrous power
Jesus to St. Faustina: “My daughter, do not tire of proclaiming My Mercy. In this way you will refresh this Heart of Mine, which burns with a flame of pity for sinners. Tell my priests that hardened sinners will repent on hearing their words, when they speak about My unfathomable mercy, about the compassion I have for them in My Heart. To priests who will proclaim and extol My Mercy, I will give wondrous power, and I will anoint their words and touch the hearts of those to whom they will speak.” (#1521)
No terror at death for those who proclaim God’s Mercy
Jesus: “All those souls who will glorify My Mercy and spread its worship, encouraging others to trust in My Mercy, will not experience terror at the hour of death. My Mercy will shield them in that final battle
… Oh, if sinners knew My Mercy, they would not perish in such great numbers. Tell sinful souls not to be afraid to approach Me; speak to them of My great mercy.” (#1396)
Loss of souls plunges God into mortal sadness
Jesus in sadness: “The loss of each soul plunges Me into mortal sadness. You always console Me when you pray for sinners.” (#1397)
Most pleasing prayer to God: prayer for sinners
Jesus continued: “The prayer most pleasing to Me is prayer for the conversion of sinners. Know, My daughter, that this prayer is always heard and answered.” (#1397)
God’s generosity to sinners…more than to the just
Jesus: “My secretary, write that I am more generous towards sinners than toward the just. It was for their sake that I came down from heaven; it was for their sake that My Blood was spilled. Let them not fear to approach Me; they are most in need of My Mercy.” (#1275)
Jesus’ yearning for souls
One day, after Holy Communion Sister Faustina heard God’s voice: “My daughter, look into the abyss of My Mercy and give praise and glory to this Mercy of Mine. Do it this way: Gather all sinners from the entire world and immerse them into the abyss of My Mercy. I want to give Myself to souls; I yearn for souls, My daughter. On the Day of My Feast, the FEAST OF MERCY, you will go through the whole world and bring fainting souls to the spring of My Mercy. I shall heal and strengthen them.” (#206)
My mercy is greater than all the sins of the world
Sister Faustina was told by Jesus to relay this to all souls:
“My mercy is greater than all the sins of the world… For you I descended from Heaven to earth; for you I allowed Myself to be nailed to the Cross; for you I let My Sacred Heart be pierced with a lance, thus opening wide the source of mercy for you. Come then with trust and draw graces from this fountain… I never reject a contrite heart … You will give Me pleasure if you hand over all your troubles and griefs. I shall heap upon you the treasures of My grace.” (#1485)
OUR LOVE OF GOD
Loving souls: the pleasure of God
“To comfort you, My daughter, let Me tell you that there are souls living in the world who love Me dearly. I dwell in their hearts with delight. But they are few. In convents too, there are souls that fill My Heart with Joy. They bear My features; therefore the Heavenly Father looks upon them with special pleasure. They will be a marvel to angels and men. Although their number is very small, they are a defense for the world before the Justice of the Heavenly Father and a means of obtaining Mercy for the world. The love and sacrifice of these souls sustain the world in existence… The infidelity of a soul specially chosen
by Me wounds My heart most painfully. Such infidelities are swords which pierce My Heart.” (#367)
A single act of love pleases God more than a thousand imperfect prayers
Sister Faustina was lovingly talking to the Lord: “Oh, God, You know every beat of my heart. You know how I eagerly desire that all hearts would beat for You alone, that every soul glorify the greatness of Your mercy…” And the Lord Jesus responded to Sister Faustina:
“My beloved child, delight of My Heart, your words are dearer and more pleasing to Me than the angelic chorus. All the treasures of My heart are open to you… For the sake of your love, I withhold the just chastisements, which mankind has deserved.
“A single act of pure love pleases Me more than a thousand imperfect prayers. One of your sighs of love atones for many offenses with which the godless overwhelm Me.
“The smallest act of virtue has unlimited value in My eyes because of your great love for Me. On a soul that lives n My love alone, I reign as in Heaven. I watch over it day and night. In it I find My happiness; My ear is attentive to each request of its heart; often I anticipate its request.
“Oh child, especially beloved by Me, apple of My eye, rest a moment near My Heart and taste of the love in which you will delight for all eternity… but child, you are not in your homeland; so go, fortified by My grace, and fight for My kingdom in human souls… Receive Me daily in Holy Communion. It will give you strength…” (#1489)
Pure love gives strength at the hour of death
Sister Faustina one time lay very ill. After Holy Communion she said, “I saw the Lord Jesus just as I had seen Him during one adoration. The Lord’s gaze pierced my soul through and through and not even the least speck of dust escaped His notice.” She told Jesus, that she thought He was going to take her. And Jesus answered:
“My will has not yet been fully accomplished in you; you will still remain on earth, but not for long, I am well pleased with your trust, but your love should be more ardent. Pure love gives the soul strength at the very moment of dying.” (#324)
HUMBLENESS
Humbleness and love touches the Father’s Heart
“Be humble. The prayers of humble and loving souls disarm the anger of My Father and draws down an ocean of blessings.” (#320)
Humbleness and pride
“The torrents of grace inundate the humble. The proud remain always in poverty and misery, because My grace turns away from them and goes to humble souls.” (#1602)
ON SUFFERING
Suffering purified the soul
Jesus often told Sister Faustina that He is very pleased with her pure sufferings united with Him, for they were applied to many sinners. She said, “Suffering is the greatest treasure on earth. It purifies the soul. True love is measured by the thermometer of suffering.” (#342-343)
Suffering: one price at which souls are bought
Jesus added: “When I was dying on the Cross, I was not thinking about Myself, but about poor sinners, and I prayed for them to My Father. I want your last moments to be completely similar to Mine on the Cross. There is but one price that souls are bought, and that is suffering united to My suffering on the Cross. Pure love understands these words; carnal love will never understand them.” (#324)
Reward for patience and hardships
St. Faustina once complained to the Lord Jesus because she saw how much her confessor was suffering due to the carrying out of this work. She said: “Jesus, this is Your affair, so why are You acting this way toward him? It seems to me that You are making difficulties for him, while at the same time ordering him to act.”
The Lord Jesus answered: “Write that by day and night My gaze is fixed upon him, and I permit these adversities in order to increase his merit. I do not reward for good results but for the patience and hardships undergone for My sake.” (#86)
The saintly prayer
Here is one prayer of Faustina that pleased the Lord so much, and from which we can learn in our very much troubled selfish world.
“Jesus, I thank You for the little daily crosses, for opposition to my endeavors, for the hardships of communal life, for the misinterpretation of my intentions, for humiliations at the hands of others, for the harsh way in which we are treated, for false suspicions, for poor health and loss of strength, for self-denial, for dying to myself, for lack of recognition in everything, for the upsetting of all my plans. Thank You, Jesus, for interior sufferings, for dryness of spirit, for terrors, fears, and incertitude, for the
darkness and deep interior night, for temptations and various ordeals, for torments too difficult to describe, especially for those which no one will understand, for the hour of death with its fierce struggle and all its bitterness… I thank You Jesus. You who first drank the cup of bitterness before You gave it to me in a much milder form. I put my lips to this cup of Your holy will. Let all be done according to Your good pleasure…” (#343)
Sufferings in union with Jesus obtain grace for sinners
Sister Faustina was very ill, and could not stand. A priest brought Holy Communion to her cell. After Holy Communion, the Lord Jesus told her:
“If the priest had not brought Me to you, I would have come Myself under the same species. My daughter, your sufferings of this night obtained the grace of mercy for an immense number of souls.” (#1459)
During a Mass for the Resurrection, Sister Faustina saw the Lord amidst great light blessing them. He said, “Peace be to you My Children.”
“When He looked at me with such kindness and love, my whole soul drowned itself in Him and He said: ‘You have taken a great part in My Passion; therefore now, I give you a great share in My Joy and Glory.’ ” (#205)
Meditation on His Passion is of great profit to us
Before their eight-day retreat, Sister Faustina asked permission to do some mortifications, but she was disappointed for receiving no permission from her Superiors. When she dropped in the chapel, she heard this voice in her soul:
“There is more merit to one hour of meditation on My Sorrowful Passion than there is to a whole year of flagellation that draw blood; the CONTEMPLATION of MY PAINFUL WOUNDS is of great profit to you, and it brings Me great joy.” (#366)
“There are few souls who contemplate My Passion with true feeling; I give great graces to souls who meditate devoutly on My Passion.” (#737)
The Way of the Cross: the shortest and surest way to Heaven
Sister Faustina who was very ill, often misunderstood and humiliated was told by the Lord Jesus that poor health or mental pain are not hindrances to the advancement in holiness.
Jesus said: “My child, all that is painful. But there is no way to heaven except the Way of the Cross. I followed it first. You must learn that it is the shortest and surest way…
“I endured that too when My soul was crushed in mortal anguish at the Garden of Olives… I am
giving you a share in those sufferings because of My special love for you and in view of the high degree of holiness I am intending for you in heaven. A suffering soul is closest to My heart.” (#1487)
THE SACRAMENT OF RECONCILIATION (Confession)
The greatest miracle takes place in the Sacrament of Reconciliation (Confession)
Jesus to Faustina: “Tell the souls where to look for solace; that is in the Tribunal of Mercy (The Sacrament of Reconciliation). There, the greatest miracle takes place… Come with faith to the feet of My representative and reveal to him one’s misery, and the miracle of the Divine Mercy will be fully demonstrated… His soul will be restored in full. Oh, how miserable are those who do not take advantage of the miracle of God’s mercy!” (#1448)
THE HOLY EUCHARIST
The Glorious Face of Jesus in the Eucharistic Monstrance
Sister Faustina related that one time during her deep prayer she was transported in spirit to the chapel where she saw the Lord Jesus, exposed in the monstrance. In place of the monstrance, she saw the glorious face of Jesus, and He said to her:
“What you see in reality, these souls see through faith. Oh, how pleasing to Me is their great faith! You see, although there appears to be no trace of life in Me, in reality, it is present in its fullness in each and every Host. But for Me to be able to act upon a soul, the soul must have faith. O how pleasing to Me is living faith!” (#420)
The Pain of Jesus when we do not receive Holy Communion
Jesus told Sister Faustina:
“Oh, how painful it is to Me that souls so seldom unite themselves to Me in Holy Communion. I wait for souls and they are indifferent to Me. I love them tenderly and sincerely and they distrust Me. I want to lavish my graces on them, and they do not want to accept them. They treat me as a dead object, where as My Heart is full of love and mercy.
“In order that you may know at least some of My pain, imagine the most tender mother who has great love for her children, while those children spurn her love. Consider her pain. No one is in a position to console her. This is but a feeble image and likeness of My love.” (#1447)
The Great Sign before the Day of Justice
Jesus revealed to us a SIGN for the END TIMES (Matt.24) through St. Faustina: “Write this:
Before I come as the Just Judge, I am coming first as The King of Mercy. Before the Day of Justice arrives, there will be given to people a sign in the heavens of this sort:
All lights in the Heavens will be extinguished and there will be great darkness over the whole earth. Then the sign of the CROSS will be seen in the SKY, and from the openings of the hands and the feet of the Savior were nailed will come forth great lights which will light up the earth for a period of time. This will take place shortly before the last day.” (#83)
JESUS CHRIST’S WORDS TO ST. FAUSTINA
St. Faustina wrote the words of Our Lord Jesus Christ in her diary “Divine Mercy in My Soul” as required by her superiors and her Chaplain. Here are some teachings He gave to ponder on.
Mercy: God’s Greatest Attribute
In Vinius, 1934, Faustina was told, “Proclaim that Mercy is the greatest attribute of God. All the works of My hands are crowned with Mercy.” (#301)
Priests who proclaim My Mercy will have wondrous power
Jesus to St. Faustina: “My daughter, do not tire of proclaiming My Mercy. In this way you will refresh this Heart of Mine, which burns with a flame of pity for sinners. Tell my priests that hardened sinners will repent on hearing their words, when they speak about My unfathomable mercy, about the compassion I have for them in My Heart. To priests who will proclaim and extol My Mercy, I will give wondrous power, and I will anoint their words and touch the hearts of those to whom they will speak.” (#1521)
No terror at death for those who proclaim God’s Mercy
Jesus: “All those souls who will glorify My Mercy and spread its worship, encouraging others to trust in My Mercy, will not experience terror at the hour of death. My Mercy will shield them in that final battle
… Oh, if sinners knew My Mercy, they would not perish in such great numbers. Tell sinful souls not to be afraid to approach Me; speak to them of My great mercy.” (#1396)
Loss of souls plunges God into mortal sadness
Jesus in sadness: “The loss of each soul plunges Me into mortal sadness. You always console Me when you pray for sinners.” (#1397)
Most pleasing prayer to God: prayer for sinners
Jesus continued: “The prayer most pleasing to Me is prayer for the conversion of sinners. Know, My daughter, that this prayer is always heard and answered.” (#1397)
God’s generosity to sinners…more than to the just
Jesus: “My secretary, write that I am more generous towards sinners than toward the just. It was for their sake that I came down from heaven; it was for their sake that My Blood was spilled. Let them not fear to approach Me; they are most in need of My Mercy.” (#1275)
Jesus’ yearning for souls
One day, after Holy Communion Sister Faustina heard God’s voice: “My daughter, look into the abyss of My Mercy and give praise and glory to this Mercy of Mine. Do it this way: Gather all sinners from the entire world and immerse them into the abyss of My Mercy. I want to give Myself to souls; I yearn for souls, My daughter. On the Day of My Feast, the FEAST OF MERCY, you will go through the whole world and bring fainting souls to the spring of My Mercy. I shall heal and strengthen them.” (#206)
My mercy is greater than all the sins of the world
Sister Faustina was told by Jesus to relay this to all souls:
“My mercy is greater than all the sins of the world… For you I descended from Heaven to earth; for you I allowed Myself to be nailed to the Cross; for you I let My Sacred Heart be pierced with a lance, thus opening wide the source of mercy for you. Come then with trust and draw graces from this fountain… I never reject a contrite heart … You will give Me pleasure if you hand over all your troubles and griefs. I shall heap upon you the treasures of My grace.” (#1485)
OUR LOVE OF GOD
Loving souls: the pleasure of God
“To comfort you, My daughter, let Me tell you that there are souls living in the world who love Me dearly. I dwell in their hearts with delight. But they are few. In convents too, there are souls that fill My Heart with Joy. They bear My features; therefore the Heavenly Father looks upon them with special pleasure. They will be a marvel to angels and men. Although their number is very small, they are a defense for the world before the Justice of the Heavenly Father and a means of obtaining Mercy for the world. The love and sacrifice of these souls sustain the world in existence… The infidelity of a soul specially chosen
by Me wounds My heart most painfully. Such infidelities are swords which pierce My Heart.” (#367)
A single act of love pleases God more than a thousand imperfect prayers
Sister Faustina was lovingly talking to the Lord: “Oh, God, You know every beat of my heart. You know how I eagerly desire that all hearts would beat for You alone, that every soul glorify the greatness of Your mercy…” And the Lord Jesus responded to Sister Faustina:
“My beloved child, delight of My Heart, your words are dearer and more pleasing to Me than the angelic chorus. All the treasures of My heart are open to you… For the sake of your love, I withhold the just chastisements, which mankind has deserved.
“A single act of pure love pleases Me more than a thousand imperfect prayers. One of your sighs of love atones for many offenses with which the godless overwhelm Me.
“The smallest act of virtue has unlimited value in My eyes because of your great love for Me. On a soul that lives n My love alone, I reign as in Heaven. I watch over it day and night. In it I find My happiness; My ear is attentive to each request of its heart; often I anticipate its request.
“Oh child, especially beloved by Me, apple of My eye, rest a moment near My Heart and taste of the love in which you will delight for all eternity… but child, you are not in your homeland; so go, fortified by My grace, and fight for My kingdom in human souls… Receive Me daily in Holy Communion. It will give you strength…” (#1489)
Pure love gives strength at the hour of death
Sister Faustina one time lay very ill. After Holy Communion she said, “I saw the Lord Jesus just as I had seen Him during one adoration. The Lord’s gaze pierced my soul through and through and not even the least speck of dust escaped His notice.” She told Jesus, that she thought He was going to take her. And Jesus answered:
“My will has not yet been fully accomplished in you; you will still remain on earth, but not for long, I am well pleased with your trust, but your love should be more ardent. Pure love gives the soul strength at the very moment of dying.” (#324)
HUMBLENESS
Humbleness and love touches the Father’s Heart
“Be humble. The prayers of humble and loving souls disarm the anger of My Father and draws down an ocean of blessings.” (#320)
Humbleness and pride
“The torrents of grace inundate the humble. The proud remain always in poverty and misery, because My grace turns away from them and goes to humble souls.” (#1602)
ON SUFFERING
Suffering purified the soul
Jesus often told Sister Faustina that He is very pleased with her pure sufferings united with Him, for they were applied to many sinners. She said, “Suffering is the greatest treasure on earth. It purifies the soul. True love is measured by the thermometer of suffering.” (#342-343)
Suffering: one price at which souls are bought
Jesus added: “When I was dying on the Cross, I was not thinking about Myself, but about poor sinners, and I prayed for them to My Father. I want your last moments to be completely similar to Mine on the Cross. There is but one price that souls are bought, and that is suffering united to My suffering on the Cross. Pure love understands these words; carnal love will never understand them.” (#324)
Reward for patience and hardships
St. Faustina once complained to the Lord Jesus because she saw how much her confessor was suffering due to the carrying out of this work. She said: “Jesus, this is Your affair, so why are You acting this way toward him? It seems to me that You are making difficulties for him, while at the same time ordering him to act.”
The Lord Jesus answered: “Write that by day and night My gaze is fixed upon him, and I permit these adversities in order to increase his merit. I do not reward for good results but for the patience and hardships undergone for My sake.” (#86)
The saintly prayer
Here is one prayer of Faustina that pleased the Lord so much, and from which we can learn in our very much troubled selfish world.
“Jesus, I thank You for the little daily crosses, for opposition to my endeavors, for the hardships of communal life, for the misinterpretation of my intentions, for humiliations at the hands of others, for the harsh way in which we are treated, for false suspicions, for poor health and loss of strength, for self-denial, for dying to myself, for lack of recognition in everything, for the upsetting of all my plans. Thank You, Jesus, for interior sufferings, for dryness of spirit, for terrors, fears, and incertitude, for the
darkness and deep interior night, for temptations and various ordeals, for torments too difficult to describe, especially for those which no one will understand, for the hour of death with its fierce struggle and all its bitterness… I thank You Jesus. You who first drank the cup of bitterness before You gave it to me in a much milder form. I put my lips to this cup of Your holy will. Let all be done according to Your good pleasure…” (#343)
Sufferings in union with Jesus obtain grace for sinners
Sister Faustina was very ill, and could not stand. A priest brought Holy Communion to her cell. After Holy Communion, the Lord Jesus told her:
“If the priest had not brought Me to you, I would have come Myself under the same species. My daughter, your sufferings of this night obtained the grace of mercy for an immense number of souls.” (#1459)
During a Mass for the Resurrection, Sister Faustina saw the Lord amidst great light blessing them. He said, “Peace be to you My Children.”
“When He looked at me with such kindness and love, my whole soul drowned itself in Him and He said: ‘You have taken a great part in My Passion; therefore now, I give you a great share in My Joy and Glory.’ ” (#205)
Meditation on His Passion is of great profit to us
Before their eight-day retreat, Sister Faustina asked permission to do some mortifications, but she was disappointed for receiving no permission from her Superiors. When she dropped in the chapel, she heard this voice in her soul:
“There is more merit to one hour of meditation on My Sorrowful Passion than there is to a whole year of flagellation that draw blood; the CONTEMPLATION of MY PAINFUL WOUNDS is of great profit to you, and it brings Me great joy.” (#366)
“There are few souls who contemplate My Passion with true feeling; I give great graces to souls who meditate devoutly on My Passion.” (#737)
The Way of the Cross: the shortest and surest way to Heaven
Sister Faustina who was very ill, often misunderstood and humiliated was told by the Lord Jesus that poor health or mental pain are not hindrances to the advancement in holiness.
Jesus said: “My child, all that is painful. But there is no way to heaven except the Way of the Cross. I followed it first. You must learn that it is the shortest and surest way…
“I endured that too when My soul was crushed in mortal anguish at the Garden of Olives… I am
giving you a share in those sufferings because of My special love for you and in view of the high degree of holiness I am intending for you in heaven. A suffering soul is closest to My heart.” (#1487)
THE SACRAMENT OF RECONCILIATION (Confession)
The greatest miracle takes place in the Sacrament of Reconciliation (Confession)
Jesus to Faustina: “Tell the souls where to look for solace; that is in the Tribunal of Mercy (The Sacrament of Reconciliation). There, the greatest miracle takes place… Come with faith to the feet of My representative and reveal to him one’s misery, and the miracle of the Divine Mercy will be fully demonstrated… His soul will be restored in full. Oh, how miserable are those who do not take advantage of the miracle of God’s mercy!” (#1448)
THE HOLY EUCHARIST
The Glorious Face of Jesus in the Eucharistic Monstrance
Sister Faustina related that one time during her deep prayer she was transported in spirit to the chapel where she saw the Lord Jesus, exposed in the monstrance. In place of the monstrance, she saw the glorious face of Jesus, and He said to her:
“What you see in reality, these souls see through faith. Oh, how pleasing to Me is their great faith! You see, although there appears to be no trace of life in Me, in reality, it is present in its fullness in each and every Host. But for Me to be able to act upon a soul, the soul must have faith. O how pleasing to Me is living faith!” (#420)
The Pain of Jesus when we do not receive Holy Communion
Jesus told Sister Faustina:
“Oh, how painful it is to Me that souls so seldom unite themselves to Me in Holy Communion. I wait for souls and they are indifferent to Me. I love them tenderly and sincerely and they distrust Me. I want to lavish my graces on them, and they do not want to accept them. They treat me as a dead object, where as My Heart is full of love and mercy.
“In order that you may know at least some of My pain, imagine the most tender mother who has great love for her children, while those children spurn her love. Consider her pain. No one is in a position to console her. This is but a feeble image and likeness of My love.” (#1447)
The Great Sign before the Day of Justice
Jesus revealed to us a SIGN for the END TIMES (Matt.24) through St. Faustina: “Write this:
Before I come as the Just Judge, I am coming first as The King of Mercy. Before the Day of Justice arrives, there will be given to people a sign in the heavens of this sort:
All lights in the Heavens will be extinguished and there will be great darkness over the whole earth. Then the sign of the CROSS will be seen in the SKY, and from the openings of the hands and the feet of the Savior were nailed will come forth great lights which will light up the earth for a period of time. This will take place shortly before the last day.” (#83)
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
I'm Home!!!!
Yes, that is correct, I am home. Actually got here on Saturday evening. This blog will be good for other things(like my memory.) If I keep up to date on it. I was given the okay to come home but with the following restrictions. I am not allowed to eat. I am still in pain and eating makes it worse. So the remedy is no eating or drinking(not even water but in small amounts) and to be fed intravenously. So I am hooked up to this pump thing for 16 hours a day and off 8. So much fun but I'm home.
Just some last things about being in hospital. I had a good nurse named Ben for most of the daytime hours. Thanks Ben and all the other random nurses I had. I had the same roommate for the last three days. To say he was interesting is to say the least. Anthony is 84 years old, he was in for colon cancer. Some of my highlights with Anthony. Anthony for most of his grown life was a cinematographer. Thats right he made movies with some of the big names. Names like: William Holden, Alec Guinness, Maureen O'Harra, Elizabeth Taylor, Gregory Peck and others. Bunch of movies only two that I can remember now which are "The Bridge Over the River Kwai" and "Guns of Navarone." Both of these movies are excellent made about the time I was born.
He told me a lot of stories and asked a ton of trivia questions like I have been around as long as he has. He really started to catch me off guard when he started asking me questions like "who do you think was the best looking actor in film?" I have to tell you I really had to think. I didn't believe he asked me that and I truly had never thought of that question. I said Paul Newman. He agreed he was good looking but said John Derrick was the best looking guy in movies. Didn't even know who he was. He told me that Tony Curtis had a hard time keeping the gay actors from hitting on him as he was straight. Now how does he know this? A little after this he says "Aaron can you help me over here?" So I get up and go over there and he pulls at his gown and asks if his catheter was still in. Whoa, whoa don't be flashing me old man. He also told me why he had never got married. He said "why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free." DOB, dirty old bastard. He told me a lot of good things that went on in his life but he left me with a feeling like I was glad I never lived or worked in Hollywood. Like my mom once said "If you work in a barn you soon smell like manure."
Just some last things about being in hospital. I had a good nurse named Ben for most of the daytime hours. Thanks Ben and all the other random nurses I had. I had the same roommate for the last three days. To say he was interesting is to say the least. Anthony is 84 years old, he was in for colon cancer. Some of my highlights with Anthony. Anthony for most of his grown life was a cinematographer. Thats right he made movies with some of the big names. Names like: William Holden, Alec Guinness, Maureen O'Harra, Elizabeth Taylor, Gregory Peck and others. Bunch of movies only two that I can remember now which are "The Bridge Over the River Kwai" and "Guns of Navarone." Both of these movies are excellent made about the time I was born.
He told me a lot of stories and asked a ton of trivia questions like I have been around as long as he has. He really started to catch me off guard when he started asking me questions like "who do you think was the best looking actor in film?" I have to tell you I really had to think. I didn't believe he asked me that and I truly had never thought of that question. I said Paul Newman. He agreed he was good looking but said John Derrick was the best looking guy in movies. Didn't even know who he was. He told me that Tony Curtis had a hard time keeping the gay actors from hitting on him as he was straight. Now how does he know this? A little after this he says "Aaron can you help me over here?" So I get up and go over there and he pulls at his gown and asks if his catheter was still in. Whoa, whoa don't be flashing me old man. He also told me why he had never got married. He said "why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free." DOB, dirty old bastard. He told me a lot of good things that went on in his life but he left me with a feeling like I was glad I never lived or worked in Hollywood. Like my mom once said "If you work in a barn you soon smell like manure."
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
Still viewing from room 408
Yes still in here. What a mess today was. Once I describe it you will think wow that place is messed up or Aaron needs to quit complaining. The doctors decided that I should try some food today and see if it causes any pain. If it causes pain than I will end up on a pic line and fed through it for the next 4 weeks. If no pain increase go home and eat. So I have not had anything to eat since Friday except that muffin Saturday morning before we came down here.
In order for me to eat anything I have to take 4 pills called Creon 24000. Well my breakfast comes and I have no Creon so I can't eat it. They through it out after a couple of hours and give me a muffin and toast which sits for another hour before they give me some creon 6000. Yep, wrong dosage. I tell the nurse who tries to get it straightened out for lunch. Did not get the right pills for lunch or any pills. Than dinner comes and they still haven't sent the right pills. Wow. I wait another two hours and get frustrated so I call their internal line if you need help and your not happy with the response. I get this woman who starts giving me a hard time for calling the line and I should call the operator, that this line is only for those who need help or are not happy with the help they are getting. I said that is why I am calling than explain a little before she cuts me off and says I will call your nurse. So the nurse gets blamed again. Not even her fault. The unit supervisor comes in and I was short with her (I truly feel awful) when I told her what was going on. Within 10 mins I had my Creon. I still believe it was wrong dosage though. Is that messed up or what?
I still have the pain when I eat so we will see what the doctor says in the morning. I have two doctors and they are giving different views and advice. Hard to figure out that way. I just want to go home.
In order for me to eat anything I have to take 4 pills called Creon 24000. Well my breakfast comes and I have no Creon so I can't eat it. They through it out after a couple of hours and give me a muffin and toast which sits for another hour before they give me some creon 6000. Yep, wrong dosage. I tell the nurse who tries to get it straightened out for lunch. Did not get the right pills for lunch or any pills. Than dinner comes and they still haven't sent the right pills. Wow. I wait another two hours and get frustrated so I call their internal line if you need help and your not happy with the response. I get this woman who starts giving me a hard time for calling the line and I should call the operator, that this line is only for those who need help or are not happy with the help they are getting. I said that is why I am calling than explain a little before she cuts me off and says I will call your nurse. So the nurse gets blamed again. Not even her fault. The unit supervisor comes in and I was short with her (I truly feel awful) when I told her what was going on. Within 10 mins I had my Creon. I still believe it was wrong dosage though. Is that messed up or what?
I still have the pain when I eat so we will see what the doctor says in the morning. I have two doctors and they are giving different views and advice. Hard to figure out that way. I just want to go home.
Monday, January 10, 2011
View from 408
Yep, even though no one reads this I thought I would tell you that I am now viewing the walls of UPMC Shadyside. This is nothing new for me as I have spent 7 or 8 weeks here in the last two years since my diagnosis of pancreatic cancer(from now on referred to as pancan). This time I am here for pain radiating from my mid to lower back through to the right front of my abdomen. Actually, some of the weeks before have been spent here for the same thing. They have no clue why this is happening. In the past they said it was pancreatitus. Now somehow because they can not confirm pancreatitus they think it is something else. All I know is I haven't had anything to eat or drink for three days now. I don't really feel like eating but it would be nice too. They did a couple of MRI's but everything looked normal. What isn't normal is high level of pain and nausea.
Should I ramble? The nurses and aides on this floor are the best. They do a great job! I have a resident Dr. named Dr. Boone. LOL just funny. My first roommate this time was just awful. He wouldn't use his call button but would just scream for the nurse to come help him. Three times in the middle of the night he did this. Left his tv on all night, nothing wrong with that except, the volume was so loud. I had Brittany buy me noise reduction headphones. They actually do help but he left that day. I think he stole some of my pain pills that I had in my overnight kit. I think he is some kind of addict. All he was worried about was getting a Oxycontin prescription. He kept mentioning it to his doctor and nurse.
Brittany was just here visiting me after her classes today. She is an amazing young lady and a great daughter. Ann Marie left yesterday(Sunday) so she wouldn't miss any work unless absolutely necessary. So it is great to have Brittany in this city.
Should I ramble? The nurses and aides on this floor are the best. They do a great job! I have a resident Dr. named Dr. Boone. LOL just funny. My first roommate this time was just awful. He wouldn't use his call button but would just scream for the nurse to come help him. Three times in the middle of the night he did this. Left his tv on all night, nothing wrong with that except, the volume was so loud. I had Brittany buy me noise reduction headphones. They actually do help but he left that day. I think he stole some of my pain pills that I had in my overnight kit. I think he is some kind of addict. All he was worried about was getting a Oxycontin prescription. He kept mentioning it to his doctor and nurse.
Brittany was just here visiting me after her classes today. She is an amazing young lady and a great daughter. Ann Marie left yesterday(Sunday) so she wouldn't miss any work unless absolutely necessary. So it is great to have Brittany in this city.
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